A demonstration of being happy in grad school. Running through the sprinklers is also advised.
This blog entry is more personal than research. I just moved from Atlanta and I’ll be starting my new job at AT&T Research Labs on August 1st. So, I’m feeling wistful and I wanted to reflect and share just a few pieces of advice to the next generation of Ph.D. students.
I feel that there is a lot of negativity out there about grad school (the 100 reasons not to go to grad school blog, for example) and I certainly agree that it’s not for everyone. I recently had a friend tell me that I’m the only “actually happy person” he knows in a Ph.D. program. I’m sure there are plenty of other happy people, but it’s true that there is a lot of potential for misery in grad school. So, while other guides focus on “getting what you came for” or whatever, I want to share with you 5 practices (developed through much trial and error) that helped me stay happy in grad school:
- Pick a good conference in your field and go to it every year (including your first year, even if you have to pay for it out of pocket) — when there were times that I thought about quitting (and there were those times), a conference has always brought me the energy, the influx of new ideas, and the wonderful people that I needed to get back in gear. My two chosen conferences are CHI (Human Factors in Computing) and IDC (Interaction Design and Children).
- Avoid “time shifting” whenever possible — time shifting is when you end up shifting something you need to do today to another day in order to do some piece of work (e.g., “I’ll sleep tomorrow,” “I’ll get in touch with my advisor some other day, today I need to focus on this paper,” etc.). In my experience, time shifting only makes me more stressed out and less productive in the long run. If you need to skip this conference deadline and try for another, then maybe that’s the thing to do.
- Get to know the people in your program — these folks are not only great to get to know as friends, but also will likely be your colleagues in the years to come. Also, they can commiserate with anything that you’re currently facing so they’re a great source of social support.
- Have a routine that includes all of the things that are important to you — make a list of what is important to your happiness and make sure that you get a chance to do these things. My list includes things like swimming, hanging out with friends, exploring new places, reading for fun, and yes, research. You may have to set boundaries to make sure that the important things actually make it on your schedule, but it’s totally worth it to your overall level of happiness. I once told my advisor that I would not do certain types of academic activities because it would interfere with my work/life balance. He wasn’t happy at first, but later on accepted it and even said he admired me sticking to my guns on this (but, do pick your battles).
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help — when you’re struggling or need something, ask for it. I hate asking for help, but I basically went crazy when I tried to handle everything myself. I’ve gotten help from my advisor, my committee members, my lab mates, my roommates, my extended academic family, my biological family, people I’ve met at CoC Happy Hour, and professionals (the Counseling Center at Georgia Tech is free for students, may be the same at your school). Don’t be afraid of looking lame. Sometimes you have to decide whether you want to save your face or your ass and the choice should be clear.
For me, I’m more productive when I’m happy. So, when I plan to “swim, do 8 hours of work, and have dinner with friends,” I actually get a lot more done than when I plan to “work for the next 16 hours.” And, I’m immeasurably happier. Try it and maybe it will work for you.
As a bonus for those readers who are currently going or planning to go to Georgia Tech, here is Lana’s List of 100 Things To Do While You’re in Grad School at Georgia Tech. Enjoy and share your list with me when you make it!
Nice post! I loved grad school, and am somewhat puzzled by the people who whine about it. My biggest piece of advice is: work for a couple years between college and grad school. Then when you get there, you’ll know why you’re there.
My job between college and grad school was developing multi-media training materials for pharmaceutical sales representatives. So if grad school was ever hard, I could remind myself, “You could be writing 100 pages in one week about an anti-fungal agent.” (I really did that.) Perspective helps.
Good post and I agree that many of those things you wrote about can help. But, I think you have to develop those strategies to make sure you don’t end up really miserable. Anything where you have to develop specific coping mechanisms to make sure you can survive is troublesome.
I really enjoyed graduate school until I had a baby and had other concerns that extended beyond my time in the lab. I’ve also heard that Georgia Tech is a great place that focuses on making its students happy. From talking with others, not all programs in the US are set up that way and there aren’t any programs that are set up to help graduate students be parents.
Great post. I just want to point out that where there is smoke there can be fire.
Thank you for making this point, Laurian. I think that the parenting issue depends a lot on the advisor. My advisor is very supportive –more than half of the students in my lab had babies during their time at Georgia Tech and most of them seem to be doing well. I do see a gender imbalance, however — I think the majority of responsibilities still fall on the mother and she is more likely to struggle.
As great as my advisor is on this issue, I think it would really be great if the university took a bigger look at these problems. Ideally, I would love for them to provide free or steeply discounted day care for children of students in good standing…
Well, if it’s any encouragement. My parents had me early in their Ph.D.s and faced lots of challenges due to that. But, they made it work and I’ve always felt very blessed to have two scientist as my parents. My mom is definitely my role model.
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Thank you for this blog post. With all the negativity about grad school life, it’s nice to hear a positive voice for once.
Glad you liked it! 🙂
Thank U for this post. I’ve read it 3 times since starting grad school in August. One thing about returning to grad school after you’ve worked for a while is that you have to reaccustom yourself to studying after dinner again…possibly pass midnight too (so far that has been every night for me…)
Thank you for reading and commenting. Honestly, studying past midnight every night is exactly what I’m trying to advocate against. I did that myself when I first started out and it was disastrous!
I adjusted my schedule so that I could get everything done between 10 and 6 or 7. I know it might be hard right now, because you’re probably taking a large course load, but it might be worth it.
If you are a Masters student, consider what you want to do next and focus more on those requirements (research if you want a Ph.D. next, building a better portfolio/resume if you’re thinking about industry). Buy yourself some time by taking a couple of summer classes or extending your studies by a semester. But, it’s better to have some breathing room, than kill yourself with work for 2 years.
If you’re a Ph.D. student, you’ll have a long time to finish your courses, so no hurry. Discuss with your advisor and see if maybe lightening the course load would make sense.
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[…] From simply asking for help to attending a relevant conference to maintain interest in your field, her short and simple list is one that is easy to follow and could help to put a smile on any grad students […]